The Auldridges

When we first started our adoption process, we were told to expect an 18-24 month wait before completion. In the scheme of international adoptions, this was one of the longer programs. As of this month (Apr 07) it has now been 24 months and we have no referral and no end in sight.

Each time we call or email for an update, we are told the same thing. Somebody has been meeting with someone and is having productive results so there should be some good news soon. Last we heard (on Apr 4th) was that the people from our agency who are in Panama have been meeting with the Ministry of Social Development and the First Lady of the Republic about issues such as delayed responses from the administrative and legal parties involved in the process. We were told, once again, that the meetings were frutiful and something should be moving soon. But like I said, we keep getting the same talk and no walk.

Until very recently, I was very relaxed about the whole thing. I was still within the original expected time line and am not generally a worrier. But now that we are at the end of the original projection and have no real solid info and nothing in sight, I am getting irritated. And it seems that all around me, living close by, are little baby girls in families we know who I get to spend some time with and just adore, melting my heart that much more. Our neighbor has their beautiful girl home from China now, the girl Shari mentors has a baby girl, our really good friends have a little girl in foster care, and there are lots of little girls in the church nursery where we serve every few weeks. While I love my own boys more deeply than any of them, they just remind me of that part of our family that is still missing.

On top of that, there is a lot of money tied up in this now. We have already put thousands of dollars (and 2 years of effort) into this process so we can’t just turn away from it and start somewhere else. Mean while, we have thousands more dollars sitting in a savings account, with hundreds a month going into that account. This money is just sitting, waiting for us to get some sort of word. All these finances are tied up, unusable. And I have all sorts of projects that could (should) be done around this house right now. It would sure be nice to get this done and free up those resources.

Don’t get me wrong–I know it is all in God’s timing. I know He is sovereign and will make things happen when they should (or stop them if they shouldn’t). I know that all things work together for the good of those who believe, and ultimately for the glory of God. But in my humanity I am getting frustrated with a process that is not working the way it should and the emotions and resources it consumes.